Here's Why You Should Build a Life You Don't Need to Escape
You'll be glad you did.
People often ask me for life or career advice. How did I start my digital nomad journey with a Jamaican passport and a third-world salary? How did I leave the US? What made me choose this lifestyle? What can they do to achieve something similar? I often respond with another question:
What makes you happy?
This is something a lot of people struggle to answer, or they recite a well-rehearsed answer of what success or happiness should look like. But is that really what they want out of life? I think it’s worthless to pursue any big goal unless you’ve really asked yourself whether it will make you happy in the long run.
Changing the pursuit of happiness
Moving to Madrid gave me the first real opportunity to adult throughout my PhD. Instead of traveling around in my RV, like I did during my master’s, I would stay put in an apartment in the city. I am no city girl, and I worried that this would grow old and feel stale pretty fast.
“Do you really think you’ll stay in Spain?” my mom asked me. “You don’t ‘live’ anywhere!”
She’s not wrong. Six months is about the point where I usually start to get antsy. I get that itch to either change my apartment or move to a whole new city (or country!).
I have not had that here.
Testing the pursuit of happiness
When I went to Ireland in August, I really wasn’t ready to leave. I said before how I wished I knew I would have been terminated before booking, so I could have booked a longer stay! I was ill when I returned too, so it was hard to think about any of that.
Last week, I got a second chance to test it. I went to a coastal town in Spain to house sit for my friends’ parents and watch their ill, senior cat. The house overlooks the beach, and you can hear the waves roaring wonderfully through all hours of the day and night. The sunrises are beautiful, and the sunsets calmed me.
I spent a few evenings in the water and others studying on the sand.
As amazing as it was though, when it was time to leave, I all but hopped, skipped, and jumped out their apartment door. I was going home to my kitty cat! My face lit up when I exited the train station, and even more so when I saw my apartment building.
As I walked toward my home, I wondered if Shadow could see me coming back. The security camera on the work desk told me he was at the window that overlooked the street I was walking on. So, probably yes!
This month also marked the end of the 9-month lease I had tentatively booked my apartment for. I have now renewed it for another year.
Settling in, not down
I do want to be clear that this isn’t the part where I tell you I’ve seen the light and will now stay put in Madrid or Spain forever. I left home twice this month and traveled more than half a dozen times to places across Spain and other European countries since landing here in October 2024.
But I am settling into civilization.
I suppose the true test will come when I return to the United States in December. Once it’s time to come back, will I run gleefully back to my beautiful apartment in Madrid? Or will missing my FJ, my RV, and my family sew seeds of discontent?
I suppose time will tell.
For now, the best advice I can give anyone else pursuing a life that goes against the grain is:
Before you start planning, get to know yourself and what makes you happy.
Envision the end goal of what that happy life looks like.
Reverse engineer the steps to get you there.
Make that your primary focus until you’ve finally made it.
Don’t be afraid to tweak your plan as you get new information.
Next week, I’ll tell paid subscribers where I traveled to for my quick break from Madrid. I finally found a beach that isn’t crowded in the summer, and that’s perfect for ocean kayaking and swimming. Want mountain views? I have that too. This and more next time.
See you then! 👋🏽