Over the past year, a lot of digital nomads have quit the travel lifestyle. I’ve read the blog posts, watched the YouTube video announcements, and spoken to several at length.
Most people might think they ran out of money or their jobs no longer allowed them to work remotely. Funny enough, I’ve never met a single person who gave this as their reason — though I’m sure it happens. Those are reasons I’ve heard for pausing travels, but not for quitting.
So, what’s the problem?
Loneliness.
Some travelers consider it a necessary evil of life on the road and one they prefer over the complacency they feel when staying in one place. For them, loneliness is fleeting but expected.
For others, it is an all-consuming darkness that only grows worse over time. These are the people who eventually quit — or develop unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Who does it affect?
You might think loneliness is something that only plagues solo travelers, but even couples complain of being lonely enough to quit full-time travel. Sure, they have each other; some even have kids. But they crave companionship outside of their household — and many struggle to find it.
In fact, I would argue that it’s sometimes harder for people traveling together to meet others. In my experience, people are far more likely to approach me or extend invitations when I’m traveling alone versus when I’m traveling with friends or family.
Consequently, some people find themselves battling boredom, depression, and unhappiness in some of the most beautiful places in the world.
What causes loneliness?
There’s nothing wrong with craving companionship, but peopling isn’t always an option when traveling solo. It takes time to build connections, and a few weeks or even a few months in one location might not be enough to accomplish that.
Culture also plays a role. Some cultures are just friendlier and more curious than others. They might also be more open to long-distance connections. For example, I’m still close with friends from Jamaica and Europe, even when I haven’t seen them for years. They know more about me and what’s happening in my day-to-day life than the people who see me every day in America.
One of the biggest reasons for loneliness that I’ve noticed, however, has nothing to do with others. Some people just can’t stand to be on their own. The thought of not seeing a soul for a day or two drives them crazy. Other people may also be a welcome distraction from their thoughts or the things they need to work on in themselves.
What can you do about it?
Loneliness catches a lot of travelers off guard. When they’re planning their big adventures, they spend a lot of time mapping out their route or customizing their travel gear. But, they give very little thought to their support group or mental health. They think travel will solve all their problems.
But you’re still you wherever you roam.
There are also some of us who don’t get lonely. Maybe you’re an only child, or your favorite hobbies are mostly solo activities. Maybe you have a social battery that drains around other people (introverts), as opposed to others whose social battery recharges in social settings (extroverts).
But don’t worry. If you need social bonding (and often!), it doesn’t mean you won’t enjoy solo travel. There are so many things you can do to make connections, build a strong support group, and develop healthy social habits.
Next week, I’ll share what I’ve done over the years and what my other nomad friends have shared with me. For the record, I’m one of those people who like companionship in small doses. Still, I’m sure many of the things I’ve done will work for just about anyone.
See you next time!
You hit the nail on the head about loneliness. Some just cannot stand being on their own and feel the company of others will fix what is happening internally. Your happiness is an inside job. So is your ability to be alone and self reflect.